If (Insert Name Here) Wins the Election

If Barack Obama wins the election, liberals will be vindicated, conservatives will wonder how did this happen, and thus will begin the strangest 4 years in the history of this country thus far.

If Mitt Romney wins the election, conservatives will be jubilant, liberals will be depressed, and conservatives will become even more depressed when they realize too little, too late that Romney will continue the majority of the policies Obama put in place, save pushing for a lightening of financial regulations, and Romney is center-right instead of far-right.

If Barack Obama wins the election, the libertarians will probably reach for the nearest cyanide pills, for they will lament heavily the big "liberal boogeyman" staying in office, while expanding government and shitting on civil liberties.

If Mitt Romney wins the election, libertarians too will still reach for the nearest cyanide pills, for Romney is not Gary Johnson or Ron Paul, still a Keynesian, and still advocates for a foreign policy that advocates American unilateralism (blatant redundancy).

If Barack Obama wins the election, then conservatives will go back to the drawing board, and don't be surprised if the Republican Party actually begins a shift back towards its historical pro-business centrism that was more or less the characterization of the party from the Reconstruction-era all the way to the adoption of the Southern Strategy by the Nixon campaign in 1968.

If Mitt Romney wins the election, then the Democratic congressional caucus will probably embark on a campaign to destroy Romney to the same degree that Republicans went on a campaign to torch Obama.

If Barack Obama wins the election, then it reinforces tribalism and the emotional political response, which is what carried, among other things, to Obama's 2008 victory.

If Mitt Romney wins the election, then it reinforces arguments prevalent amongst blacks that it was fueled by a resentment amongst white Americans that there is a black executive, especially in the wake of what will probably be a controversial Associated Press study.

If Barack Obama or Mitt Romney win the election, then somebody will be jubilant, somebody will be unhappy, and there plenty of people discontented by the fact that their ideological wet dream, no matter what it is, is still not coming to fruition.